Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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