the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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