we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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