You don't have asthma, your pregnant
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
