Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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