i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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