this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
How's work?
Spinning.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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