You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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