The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
it glows. i had to have it.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
