im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You work out of a Hotel?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
