This is not my ceiling
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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