They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize