I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize