I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
