I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize