I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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