And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
