I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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