Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
