it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I want to fling myself into the sun
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
