Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
