I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just want nice things and good sex
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
