Small penises have feelings too.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize