We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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