walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
