Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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