my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
