you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
