I just made out with a guy for $7.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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