bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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