my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
