I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
