halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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