You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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