thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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