ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize