hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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