And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
