also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
