first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize