May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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