Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
