yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
