So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
