So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
