She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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