And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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