Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
