maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
