Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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