he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Im part way to drunk.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
