I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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