youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Mom said you looked used
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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