if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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