hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
