so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
