so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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