Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
