sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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