I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
