its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
