It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
